Welcome to Evil-Minions.com, the website dedicated to the true working class
heroes of Evil--the Minion. We're Evil, because someone has to be. Besides,
Evil is just more fun.
..: What is a Minion?
Minions are the true workforce of Evil. Sure, Evil Overlords get the fame
and notoriety, but it is their faithful minions that actually get the work
done. Do you think those massive lairs, deathtraps, prisons and Death Stars
just build themselves? Without minions, Evil Overlords would just be lone
megalomaniacal nuts. We are the unsung heroes of Evil, and this website is
Minions are absolutely loyal to our Evil Overlords--as long as that Overlord
is within earshot. A good Evil Overlord realizes that we will probably betray
him, either intentionally or through our incompetence. And a good Evil Minion
realizes that their Overlord will betray him at the drop of a hat as a message
to other minions, as an intimidation factor for the hero, or simply for the
sheer amusement value.
..: Why be a Minion?
Why do we do what we do? True, being an Evil Minion is rough, thankless
work. Evil Overlords rarely acknowledge us, except to berate and punish us,
and they have a tendency to sacrifice their minions for the most trivial of
reasons. Minions don't have much in the way of health or dental coverage, to
say nothing of the complete lack of a retirement plan. In fact, the only thing
we have to look forward to is a cruel and painful death. So why do we do it?
Minions take pride in their work. There is nothing more satisfying then
seeing the fruits of our labor being used to exploit the weak, ruin the
innocent, and destroy the fabric of society. And sometimes, it might even coax
a smile from the master. And that makes it all worthwhile. As long as Evil
Minions take pride in their work, we will continue to be a labor force for
Overlords, Warlords, Mad Scientists, Criminal Masterminds and any other
charismatic madman in search of world domination.
..: Note: Don't take it seriously
This website is for humorous purposes only. It does not endorse actual acts
of an anti-social, vandalistic, destructive, or dare we say it, Evil nature.
It's just a website. If you kill your parents, shoot up your school, sacrifice
your sister to the dark forces to enhance their hellish crusade, then you
really just have yourself to blame.
Web site contents © Copyright Evil Minions 2007, All rights reserved.